Saturday, 13 November 2010

The Invasion of Privacy Incident

My teenage boy is annoyed on the verge of declaring Unilateral Declaration of My Room is Independent of the Rest of the House and especially My Sister , or "UDMRIRHEMS" if you will.

Apparently terrible things have been done to his room, apparently she ~his malicious mean moody sister ~took her DVD player back, which he ~ the brother ~ had borrowed.

I also need to add although he had borrowed "with asking", she had borrowed back "without asking". She did it without asking by damn. Of teenage sins this is a biggee. If there was a need for a eleventh commamdment by double damn and Almighty this is it ~ Thou shalt not borrow without asking.

Not only but also...

Maliciously during this time, in which she was in his room, she made a mess ~ yes, a "Mess"~ perhaps if I was a proper father in a fully functioning family unit that could have graced a 1950's BBC information film, I would be caring in this fracture of brotherly love.

Instead I am reduced to saying there is no cat in hell, no snowball in hell, Pryce gettin' in heaven chance that the addition of even an emptied rubbish bin could make a more discernable mess than existed in his room before her unauthorised entry into his room and deliberate mess activity.
In simple terms the room started as a mess and one or two additional items ain't changing the mess status.

However my superdad supersenses were going sonic. I detected sibling rivalry was going nuclear, there was a risk of crying, fighting, and general foot stamping in a very un-Goth manner.

So I sprang into action which is itself a biggee exaggeration. Truth be told, I got up and made a cup of tea and then took said cup of tea to the room where squabbling was going on with grown-up swear words thrown in.

I am not one for democracy when there is a sibling squabble to handle. The Western Civilised world's version of democracy ended at the "Welcome" mat of the Pryce family abode. The UN can takes its peace keeping troops to a developing a country with a GDP less than a medium sized US state. This is an autocracy based on my age, fatness, money and general moodiness.

I obeyed my whim that adding a pair of his neatly pressed and wardrobed trousers to the mess on the floor was a good idea. This trouser on floor addition would not be discernable. I threw another pair of trousers on the pile.

I added other formerly neatly piled items that formerly were in the wardrobe. There was now sufficient mess that both could tidy up, yes tidied up by both. Therefore the guilty party of mess creation could be justly punished - hoorah, the innocent party in mess creation was obviously a victim - oh hum, and I was Mr Nasty - hoor....hum. It goes with the territory, Jim.

I may be a step closer to seeing the Care Home at a prematurely young old age, as soon as that hip replacement "op" is necessary, they will have their revenge.

Now there is still a cup of tea to drink ~ hoorah, which I had to make for myself ~ ho hum.

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