Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Teen language Part 1

In German, Spanish or other wonderful languages that I fail to learn better than to nod hello and wave goodbye , the hand signals are necessary in case I get it wrong and wave hello.

In these languages there is a trap, probably designed that foreign learners are disuaded from prematurely amputating the hands and losing all senses of communication.

In these languages besides false friends such that 'constipation' is cured by a cough mixture in Madrid, there are accentuated syllables..... designed to be fallen foul of. Accents on syllables meaning in, say, a four syllable word the first part or middle part or penultimate part of even the final end bit is meant to shouted, whilst all others are whispered. And in certain other words the shouting parts of the word means the word is transformed into something ever so subtley different. So an innocent abroad could be talking in the present whilst meaning the past and in short the locals are giggling very much in the present and in your presence. In short a nightmare.

But this nightmare is nothing... is nowt... is but a small pimple on the bum of humanity to a teenager accenting his words in each idiosyncratic syllable, so if I would say "I had one yesterday" as perhaps and per chance a 'bath'. For me this would be a true statement and indeed like other adults in the modern world probably true of today too. For my son this statement may be a lie in that he may or may not have had a bath, the smell is suggesting, tending to say.... it may be tending to indicate that is a lie of about grey on the white lie to absolute whopper scales. However I digress the response that my boy says, and when I say 'says', I mean shouts as in "I HAD ONE YES-TER-DAY". Tonsils are wind-tunnelling to the Extreme. Each and every syllable is accentuated for the benefit of all adults present. 'Pardon' is made redundant in the father-teenage son relationship.

My hearing may not last the next few years, the Battle of the Hygiene is not yet over.

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