Friday, 28 May 2010

I done wrong many years ago

I am a parent, but I was a teenager once.

I have found out things with age, I have grown old, I have not seen a burning bush, I may have seen a smouldering ash pile, I have seen a few inconsequential things, I have witnessed consequential things by a cathode ray and a plasma screen, I have deduced things and today's deduction is a Biblical spelling error. When the Lard spok of the innocent child being born inherent with Sins of the Father. This is a mistake. Errors happen, these things happen, a slip of a finger, a misjudged interruption, a lack of a reading age above 3 and some Middle Age printing press spreading knowledge to the masses printed the text "Sins of the father". And it should have read "Sins against the Father". Children born to be teenagers to rage against the father. And, dear Lord... I was a Sinner.

I was a son and I was a teenager and I was not that nice.

At that time, many years ago, I was transformed physically by chocolates and a fair bit of footy from a cute ten year old into a zit infested lanky fella. Over the years I have been transformed physically by chocolates and insufficient exercise into a grumpy middle aged fella that does not like being called 'lardy'.

And I have also changed metaphorically as the responsibility of the years, the career, the parenthood, the mortgage, the deaths of the immortals that I used to call Dad and Mum, years that ground me down as responsibility bears down.

Now I am Father and I am that nice. I have learnt as the knees have fallen foul of years of bendy twisting mazy dribbles and the odd foul. I know in the present tense that my famed free-kick ability is in the 'was' category of conversation. I have learned in the future tense that one day I must accept it is not only the knees that fail.

I am learning that I must accept. And that sperm of the of Me is reeking its revenge, my son's grandfather is probably turning in his grave with laughter and smiling a "well now can I remind you what you shouted at me and yer mother when you were thirteen, thirteen and 1 month, thirteen 1 month and 4 days, thirteen 1 month......seventeen".

I am humbled and haunted in my own guilt. I must accept. Been there and done that and was not right but was a right......

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